The Great NATO Debate-O
Cheap Euro Bastards
Trump and NATO Are in the News Again
Agent Orange has made the headlines again with his obvious jokes about NATO that the corporate media treats as threats because they’re dishonest scumbags. Here is what the Tangerine Meanie said at a campaign rally:
“I said, ‘Everybody’s gonna pay.’ They said, ‘Well, if we don’t pay, are you still going to protect us?’ I said, ‘Absolutely not.’ They couldn’t believe the answer… No, I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want. You got to pay. You got to pay your bills.”
If you genuinely believe that the Teflon Don (or the rest of NATO, for that matter) would have let Russia steamroll whatever mystery Euro-trash country he mentioned in his anecdote, you either have an extreme case of Trump Derangement Syndrome or you’re purposely being deceptive and dishonest.
Look, if you trust at face value the word of the folks over at “fiery but mostly peaceful” CNN or the warmongering walrus John Bolton who say that this is obvious anti-NATO rhetoric over the documented actions of the former Commander-in-Cheeto, then nothing I say or show you could possibly change your mind. Stop reading now and return to your blissful bubble of blabbering sycophants. Now that all the children have left, we adults can have a serious conversation. Make no mistake, despite the failing corporate media’s best attempts at “proving” otherwise, T-Rump is adamantly pro-NATO.
A False Binary
Ironically enough, the same folks who won’t quit yapping about how the gender binary is a “fake social construct” sure seem to take opinions on NATO as either their way or the highway. To these low IQ individuals, you’re either 100% onboard with everything NATO is doing right now, or you’re a Russian stooge who wants Vladimir Putin to conquer all of the West. My God, modern political discussion is a joke.
While admittedly many right-wingers are pea-brained enough to outsmart the “leftist propaganda” in America then proceed to wholeheartedly and passionately buy into Russian propaganda like the “freethinkers” they are, this is not the position of most rightoids, including Dorito Mussolini. Believe it or not, it’s possible to support NATO as an alliance and also want it to improve and ensure every member state is contributing their fair share. Shocking, I know!
To share my opinion on the matter, I fully support NATO as an alliance. We tried to better relations with the former Soviet states, and while it worked for some like Lithuania and Estonia, it didn’t manifest with Russia, which slid back into corruption and authoritarianism shortly after the dissolution of the USSR. Would the world be a better place with a more free and liberal Russia as a staunch American ally? Yes, but that’s not the timeline we’re in, and with Putin’s expansionist wars and despotic disposition, I don’t see that changing any time soon.
With all that being said, I still got problems with NATO, namely that these other, weaker countries are refusing to pay their dues. Every NATO member is expected to contribute 2% of their GDP to NATO funding, far from an unreasonable request, but yet only 11 of the 32 members, or only 34%, have reached that threshold.
Seeing this just pisses me right off, and it does the same to the Trumpanzee, too. Why is it that the three tiny Baltic states, car-theft central Romania, and the country that went bankrupt 5 times (Greece) can all pay more than their fair share while massive economies like France, Germany and Italy can’t even be bothered to do the bare minimum? It makes my blood boil. Since the U.S. has a much, much larger economy than all of these nations, our 3.5% is the bulk of NATO funding, but I don’t mind that at all. It’s still a flat rate for everyone.
Despite what some morons like Vivek Ramaswamy say, we cannot simply retreat into our shells and completely isolate ourselves from the world. It’s a goddamn fantasy and completely ignores the obvious power vacuum that would be filled by a much less free and charitable nation than ours *cough* China *cough*. It’s one thing to oppose involving ourselves in wars across the globe for the sake of it, but we must maintain our protection of global shipping lanes to ensure free trade and market stability the world over, not to mention the continuation of the cushy way of life we’re used to. It’s a small price to pay for keeping the whole world running (relatively) smoothly.
European Hypocrisy
With all that being said, can you see now why it is infuriating to see NATO’s Secretary General, and former Prime Minister of Norway, Jens Stoltenberg berate a former American president’s call for NATO members to just pay the bare minimum they promised to pay? Let’s put this into perspective: Stoltenberg led the fourth richest nation per capita on Earth, and even they don’t pay the 2% minimum for the alliance he supposedly cherishes so much. Go to hell, you pompous Scandinavian fuck. Keep in mind that Stoltenberg and the American left that supports him are the same people who constantly prattle on about the rich needing to pay their fair share, so why not Norway?
It also bothers me (and no doubt Orange Crush) that the countries not ponying up and essentially using the United States’ military as their own free defense force are among the most vocally critical of us. People in Canada, France or Spain love to shit all over us, call us warmongers and fat pigs, but they’re more than happy to use us for their benefit while they refuse to pay. Those ignorant, lazy, poorly-traveled Americans fought and died for these ungrateful Europeans and gave them, free of charge, the capital to rebuild their destroyed and disgraced nations after their actual forays into fascism, imperialism and jingoism (all of which they love to accuse us of). Despite what tankie revisionists might tell you, the Allies would not have won without full American military, industrial and financial support, so the way of life that Europeans get to enjoy is thanks to us and our continued support of them.
It’s tiresome and irritating, but my advice for any Americans stumbling across European anti-American sentiment is to remember this: the nations of Europe are old and losing more and more relevance and power by the year, and Canada only exists because we allow it to. Sure, many of them may be operating just fine (mostly) on their own (mostly) now, but the fact of the matter is they wouldn’t even be in the current decadent states they’re in if it weren’t for us bailing them out again and again. Look, America is the prom queen, and these other countries are the fat, blue-haired friendless losers who no one prom-posed to.
So, is Trump Anti-NATO?
No, he isn’t. As stated previously, while some of his supporters and a segment of the American right (the concerningly ever-growing and brain dead, Qanon side) are anti-NATO, President Little Hands is unabashedly pro-NATO. He simply wants all members of the alliance to pay their bills. I guarantee you that if this collection of some of the wealthiest countries in the world contributed the amount they already agreed upon to this mutual defensive pact, he wouldn’t even mention it.
If all of our allies met their spending goals, then the alliance would be stronger and more well-funded. This is what Dirty Don wants, a stronger NATO where all members are contributing and training soldiers. It’s a business deal, and with his background in the subject, it’s not difficult to understand his perspective. His ultimatum is simple: if you want the benefits of NATO, you have to uphold your end of the bargain. How is this unreasonable?
Very insightful and very funny. Good combination.