Potpourri for $1200, Alex
Decolonizing Football, Catholic Women Priests for Abortions, America Causing Middle Eastern Anti-LGBT Violence, and Racist BMI Standards
Bigot Measurement Index, or BMI for Short
The American Medical Association, once on the cutting edge of medical knowledge and advancements, has been taken over by the zealots of the Church of Leftism and has come out and said that doctors should ditch the BMI system because it is apparently racist. Ignoring how a measurement system harbors not only beliefs and convictions as a non-living entity, but racist ones at that, this whole assumption is based on some wildly racist ideas from the folks at the AMA.
You see, they say that the BMI systems fails to account for differences in body composition that vary based on sex. This makes sense, as say, the healthy amount of fat on a man or a woman is different. For example, both men and women can have big, buxom breasts, but it’s only healthy for one of those groups to have them (and I hope I don’t have to tell you which one that is). So far so good, but then they take a hard turn off of Sensible Avenue onto Eugenics Street and say that body composition is based on race, as well.
I’m old enough to remember when saying that each race has distinct physical attributes such as being fatter or having different skull shapes or whatever was viewed as weird, racist pseudo-science, but apparently that’s back on the menu. You were so close AMA, all you had to do was rightfully point out that the BMI scale is an outdated method of understanding healthy human physiology, and no one would have cared. Instead, you just say it’s racist while citing pseudo-science and, ironically enough, racism, as the reasons. I diagnose you with severe mental deficiency.
U.S.A. Makes M.E. Anti-LGBTQQAAIP2S+ and Other Fun Alphabet Soup Games You Can Play
For those of you wondering, no I didn’t make that acronym up, it stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, asexual, androgenous, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit.
Anyhow, this profoundly ignorant article brought to you by the fine folks at Jeff Bezos’ personal rag The Washington Post makes the audacious claim that Middle Eastern anti-LGBT bigotry is either A) inspired by evil American right-wingers or B) equivalent to how those same damn evil American Republicans are treating the LGBT community in America. Yeah, the author kind of flip-flops between what outlandish claim he wants to make depending on the scenario.
Upon reading the article, it is clear that the author is either, at best, completely ignorant about how gay people are treated in the Muslim nations of the Middle East, or, at worst, actively lying to ignorant Western readers. He cites anti-LGBT statements made by Erdoğan in Türkiye and similar sentiments by Hezbollah (you know, the Lebanese terrorist group the same dopey Western college kids who believe this crap think are freedom fighters) as evidence of American influence on Middle Eastern beliefs.
He claims that “LGBT individuals were making real strides” in Jordan, a nation run by an autocratic king who is a direct descendant of Muhammed, who himself had nothing good to say about the gays. These are the same countries deemed most dangerous to be a homosexual in. These are the countries where gay people are burned alive, stoned to death and hanged from cranes. These are the nations where just existing as a gay person is a crime. Stop with the absurd claims that this is in any way comparable to the United States, where the LGBT community has the support of the institutions, the corporations, and society at large. I would call any comparison to America laughable, but this isn’t funny. It’s a dangerous lie.
The bloke almost gets it too, the U.S. is influencing these countries regarding LGBT acceptance, but in the exact opposite way that he thinks. One of the many reasons they hate us is because they say that we are pushing what they have called a “culture of homosexuality in schools and universities.” WaPo, you got this backwards. The Middle East’s homophobia problem is not comparable to the US, nor or we the cause of it. The region has been like this for millennia, and they didn’t need our help to be this way.
Decolonize Football? Olé, Olé, Olé!
CNN, “The most trusted name in news” and the godfather of the corporate press, brings us one of the most asinine and preposterous opinion pieces I’ve read in a while with this piece from an activist (that was your first warning) named Shaista Aziz on why we need to “decolonize football.” Where do I begin?
Well first, she’s talking about the Women’s World Cup in particular, and I hope I don’t offend all three of you Women’s Soccer Fans out there, but no one cares about this spectacle of sportswomanship, especially after America’s favorite pompous pink-haired putz is out of the tournament after a shocking upset against Sweden of all countries (good show, Rapinoe). To her, and apparently millions of other soccer fans, it was not lost on them how this year’s Cup saw three strong and independent African nations take on their evil, former colonial masters before they all proceeded to lose. Well, it was a good story, but the underdogs don’t always win, as it turns out.
Apparently, this pitting of the former subordinates and colonial overlords was “a key step towards decolonizing the sport.” Riiiiiight. It sure seems to me like Aziz won’t let go of the past and look towards the future. What’s the solution here, exactly? Are we to fix World Cup games to ensure that these specific combinations of teams play each other? Cheating and rigging are decolonizing? Regardless, she also cited a Moroccan player who wears a hijab and how she must win (this was written before their humiliating defeat to the French) to stick it to the French who have banned football players from wearing hijabs! She then nonsensically tries to compare France to Iran by saying that many in France have expressed support for Iranian women to not wear hijabs yet won’t let their players wear them before trying to do the black lady thing where she goes “make it make sense” while clapping between each word. Yeah, the French don’t let anyone wear religious symbols in public buildings lady, including hijabs, burkas, yarmulkes, cross necklaces, turbans, dharma wheels and many more. They truly are the Reddit atheists of nation states.
To conclude, she says this hilarious line:
“For the legacy of this World Cup to be about more than representation, we need those who run the multi-billion dollar football industry, many of them White men of privilege, to make way, to share resources and space with community groups and activists who are working to tackle racial and gender inequality and make football truly equitable for all women and girls on our own terms. This is the pathway to decolonize football.”
I really hate to be a smug asshole (why are you laughing?), but who’s gonna tell her that football was invented by white, British men? If anything, decolonizing it would mean that Pakistani women like her are the ones colonizing their sport. Of course, this is ludicrous to suggest, but so are her moronic prescriptions. Football became “decolonized” or whatever the minute an English dude lost a match of a game he created to a colonial subject who picked it up on his first try. Stop trying to make the most diverse and beloved game in the world political, you piece of Shaista.
Reject Holy Orders, Embrace Abortion
Did you know that The Nation magazine was founded by abolitionists as a successor to William Lloyd Garrison’s The Liberator? Oh, how the mighty have fallen with this article titled “The Catholic Women Priests Fighting for Reproductive Justice.” Any of my Catholic readers can tell you just how baffling this title is on its own. Women cannot, at this time, be ordained as Catholic priests (and wouldn’t they be priestesses anyway?), and they haven’t been able to for millennia. So, your next question probably is, who ordained these women? Why themselves, of course!
The article goes on to proclaim that around 200 women have ordained themselves as Catholic priests across the world, and it tries to make this number sound impressive, despite the fact that even with their decreasing numbers, the amount of legitimate Catholic priests hovers at around 2,000x as much with 410,000 ordained ministers. Oh, and all 200 of these heretics have been excommunicated, by the way.
The article highlights one of these sentinels of the faithful by the name of Victoria Rue, whose spitting on Catholic traditions and beliefs doesn’t end with ordaining herself a priestess. No, she also had premarital sex multiple times, got two abortions (one paid for by her actor boyfriend, the other done in a storefront because “it was much more affordable”), and actively ignores Church doctrine. And worst of all, she’s been an actress, professor and activist, three of the most annoying and irritable professions there are. Will her villainy ever cease?
I’m not going to delve too deep into Catholic dogma, so in brief, the stance of the Catholic Church is that life begins at conception. Therefore, abortion is murder, and murder is a mortal sin as explained by the Ten Commandments bestowed upon humanity by God via Moses. What Rue and her harem of heretical “holy” women are doing is disgracing the religion their allege to hold so dear. They flagrantly violate Church law and promote antithetical beliefs to its teachings, all while cosplaying as actual officiants in this perverse and disgusting display of mockery and inversion.
You used to get burned at the stake for less than this for Christ’s sake.