In honor of this most American of holidays, I wanted to share with you all something you didn’t know about each and every U.S. President. Don’t expect any “Grover Cleveland was elected to two non-consecutive terms” or “Ronald Reagan was an actor before his term in office.” No, these are going to be things you didn’t know, even if you’re a history buff like me. So strap in, we got 45 Commanders-in-Chief to cover!
1. George Washington (1789-1797)
In the endless debate of felines vs. canines, General Washington had a clear dog in the fight. The first president was an avid dog breeder, with many different doggos residing at his Mount Vernon Estate. From Dalmatians and foxhounds to mastiffs and spaniels, George had them all. They had many interesting names as well, ranging from cutesy ones like Sweet Lips and Trulove, to more out-there monikers like Drunkard and Madame Moose. He even kept various birds, deer and fish on his property, and he was the first mule breeder in the United States.
Bonus Fact: Washington never had any biological children, but he did raise his wife Martha’s two children as if they were his own. Washington’s step great-granddaughter Mary Anna Custis would go on to marry a young Virginian man you may have heard of named Robert E. Lee.
2. John Adams (1797-1801)
In 1776, mere months into the American Revolution, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin and Edward Rutledge were making their way to Staten Island to negotiate a possible end to the conflict. Unfortunately for the boys, they had to stop in New Jersey (and not even at the Vince Lombardi Memorial Toilet). To make a bad situation worse, the local inn only had two beds available. B. Franks and Johnny A. drew the short straws and had to share a bed, where they proceeded to argue about whether or not to leave the one window in the tiny room open or closed. To make things worse for poor John, just a few years later, he accidentally sent some of his personal diary back to the Continental Congress while he was in Paris, and they all dogged on him for being so full of himself.
3. Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809)
Here’s two things you didn’t learn in Hamilton. First, Jefferson’s love for ice cream, French fries and mac n’ cheese is a huge reason why all these foods became popular in America. If it’s good enough for the President, it’s good enough for me! He was also an amateur paleontologist, as well. He collected and bought rare mastodon fossils and had them shipped to Monticello. He was obsessed with the extinct fauna and would ramble on about them to anyone who would listen (truly, a man after my own heart). In fact, he was even convinced the megafauna still roamed the great American west and was surprised when Lewis and Clark didn’t stumble across any of these terrible beasts.
4. James Madison (1809-1817)
Noted short king James Madison was a huge nerd, but in a good way. Despite being a mere 5 foot 4 inches and rarely more than 100 lbs, Madison was one of the only two serving presidents to lead troops in battle during the War of 1812. He was also the first graduate student of Princeton University (then the College of New Jersey) where he finished his undergrad program in only 2 years and stayed an extra year to learn and master Hebrew with university President John Witherspoon. The Father of the Constitution was also introduced to his wife Dolley by none other than Aaron Burr, the villain to all Hamilton fans everywhere.
5. James Monroe (1817-1825)
Monroe is an incredible figure in his own right, but in many ways, he’s like the second coming of George Washington. Perhaps you’ve seen the famous portrait of Washington Crossing the Delaware, but did you know that a young Lt. James Monroe is also in the painting seen holding Old Glory just behind General Washington? He was also the only President besides Washington to run unopposed in an election, doing so in 1820 during what was deemed the ‘Era of Good Feelings.” Finally, he is the only other U.S. President besides Washington to have a national capital named after him, Monrovia in Liberia. He also died on the 4th of July. Our last Founding Father president was one righteous dude.
6. John Quincy Adams (1825-1829)
John Quincy Adams may very well have been the most qualified person to be president in U.S. history. Here’s just of some of his qualifications:
He established a successful legal practice in Boston
He was a Massachusetts State Senator
He was a U.S. Senator and then U.S. Representative for Massachusetts
He was the Secretary of State under James Monroe
He spoke eight languages (the most of any President) and had served as an Ambassador to Russia, Portugal, Prussia, the Netherlands and Britain
He brokered the Treaty of Ghent, ending the War of 1812, and the Adams-Onis Treaty, which brought Florida into the United States
And all of this before he finally became President in one of the most ugly and vitriolic elections in American history before having the election decided by the House of Representatives, as neither he, nor Andrew Jackon, had enough votes to win. It was this so-called “corrupt bargain” that mired Adams’ presidency and caused him to go down in history as a lame duck, do-nothing president. But don’t feel too bad for him, he went back to the House and served another 17 years fighting slavery until he suffered a massive stroke in the Capitol and died. What a mad lad.
7. Andrew Jackson (1829-1837)
Almost all the presidents have owned pets, but none were more controversial than Andrew Jackson’s pet parrot, Poll. Much like his owner, Poll was one mean son of a bitch, and it caused a scene at Jackson’s funeral. As the sermon was about to begin, the parrot started cursing like a sailor, so loud, in fact, that it was disturbing the guests who had come to lay their friend and loved one to rest. Needless to say, the parrot was removed from the premises, but I believe that Old Hickory would’ve had a good laugh about the whole ordeal.
Bonus Fact: Jackson was one of the toughest S.O.B.s we’ve ever had as president, fighting in countless duels. In one duel, he let his opponent shoot first, and even after being struck by the bullet, Jackson shot back and killed the man. He also famously chased down his would-be assassin and beat him with his cane.
8. Martin van Buren (1837-1841)
The “Little Magician” was one of our most unique presidents, with some seemingly contradictory facts you may not have known. He was the first president to be born in America; that is to say when it was an independent nation and not a colony of Great Britain. Despite this, he was the most distant and foreign of all presidents for two simple reasons: language and ancestry. If the “van” didn’t give it away, Martin van Buren was Dutch, as was his first language, making him the only president whose first language wasn’t English. Not only did he speak a silly language like Dutch, but he is also genealogically separated from all other presidents given the fact that he is the only POTUS who does not share the common ancestor of King John of England. Yes, the signer of the Magna Carta and sworn enemy of Robinhood is directly related to all American presidents except for good ole Marty.
Bonus Fact: In his autobiography written after his presidency, van Buren never mentioned his wife of 12 years once.
9. William Henry Harrison (1841)
Before his very brief stint as president, William Henry Harrison was a major general in the U.S. Army and Governor of Indiana. It is here where he fought the brothers Tecumseh and Tenskwatawa who led the Shawnee Tribe. Upon Tecumseh’s death following the Battles of Tippecanoe and the Thames, Tenskwatawa supposedly laid a curse on Harrison where the presidents elected on years ending in 0 would all die in office. Let’s look at the numbers. Harrison himself was elected in 1840 and died in office. Lincoln was elected in 1860 and was assassinated. Garfield was elected in 1880 and was assassinated. McKinley was elected in 1900 and was assassinated. Harding was elected in 1920 and died in office. Roosevelt was elected in 1940 and died in office. Kennedy was elected in 1960 and was assassinated. In 1980, Reagan seemingly broke the curse and survived his assassination attempt. So, was the curse real? I’ll leave you to decide.
10. John Tyler (1841-1845)
One of the few men never to be directly elected president, Tyler still has a grandson alive today in 2023. Yes, you heard that right. In fact, he had two alive until 2020 when Lyon Gardiner Tyler, Jr. passed away. Lyon’s brother, Harrison Ruffin Tyler, is still kicking at 94-years old. How is this possible? Well, John Tyler had 15 children (the most of any president), and seven of which were with his second wife, Julia Gardiner, who was 30 years his junior. John was 63-years old when his son Lyon was born in 1853, and like father like son, Lyon also married again after his first wife died, and she was 35 years his junior. Lyon was 75 years old when his still-living son Harrison was born in 1928. Here’s the lesson of today’s story: it’s never too late to have kids, gents.
11. James K. Polk (1845-1849)
President Polk was as honest as a politician gets. He said that he’d only run for one term and get everything he wanted to done, and by golly, that’s exactly what happened. There’s much to admire in this often-overlooked President, and I do mean that literally. He is often cited as the “least known consequential president,” and he was also the first dark horse candidate to win a party’s presidential nomination, with his 1844 presidential opponent Henry Clay popularizing the slogan “Who’s James K. Polk?” The poor guy couldn’t catch a break. His wife Sarah is responsible for the tradition of “Hail to the Chief” playing whenever the President enters the room because her husband was only 5 feet 8 inches tall and was a rather unimpressive-looking and boring man. She wanted to save him the embarrassment of entering a grand state event only for no one to notice him. Now that’s a good wife!
12. Zachary Taylor (1849-1850)
Zachary Taylor was a war hero who fought in the War of 1812 and the Mexican-American War. Despite being a famous general, his political leanings were never known until he ran as a Whig in the Election of 1848, but there was a good reason for this: his first and only time voting in any election was when he voted for himself in 1848. He then proceeded to die 16 months into office after getting cholera from the sewer-polluted D.C. water. Yuck.
13. Millard Fillmore (1850-1853)
Millard Fillmore, a.k.a old-timey Alec Baldwin, was a lover of education, in more ways than one. He helped found the University at Buffalo, now the largest of the State University of New York schools. Why, he loved education so much, he married his first schoolteacher, Abigail Powers. Before you rush to judgement, it was a really odd scenario. She was only two years older than him, and she became a schoolteacher when she was 16 and he didn’t begin a formal education until he was 19 years old, as he grew up in extreme poverty. His love of learning would never die, and as President, he would even go on to personally aid in fighting a fire at the Library of Congress.
14. Franklin Pierce (1853-1857)
An oft-forgotten president, Franklin Pierce has one of the most tragic stories of any of our Commanders-in-Chief. He had three sons: Franklin Jr. died in infancy and Frank Robert died of typhus when he was four. All that remained when he was elected president in 1852 was his wife Jane and his beloved son, Benny. Just two months before Pierce was to be inaugurated, he and his family were returning from a funeral in Andover, Massachusetts to their home in Concord, New Hampshire via train. Soon after departing, however, one of the train’s axels fractured and their car was thrown down a 20ft embankment. The car was described as “broke in pieces like a cigar box,” with several injuries and one fatality reported. 11-year-old Benny was horrifically decapitated in front of his parents and died instantly. The Pierces never recovered. Franklin refused to swear on the Bible during his inauguration, as he believed God was punishing him for his past sins by killing his son. Jane couldn’t even bring herself to attend the inauguration. Pierce succumbed to alcohol addiction and drank himself to death out of grief, dying of cirrhosis of the liver in 1869.
15. James Buchanan (1857-1861)
I could talk about how Buchanan was our only bachelor president, or how some speculated he was in a gay relationship with Alabama Senator William Rufus King, or that he was even an asexual, but you all know that. How about some really niche trivia about our possibly worst president? Did you know that sauerkraut and Delaware shad were his favorite food? Or that he frequently suffered bouts of gout? He enjoyed reading and walking, but most important to him was his very strict 10 o’clock bedtime. According to him, this was “the time for all good Christians to be in bed.” I hope all my Christian readers continue to abide by this rule.
16. Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865)
Lincoln was a man of many talents. He is enshrined in the Wrestling Hall of Fame, with a 299-1 record. He is the only president with a patent, specifically Patent No. 6469 for a device to keep vessels afloat in shallow water. He was also the first president with a beard, first born outside of the original 13 states, the tallest president at 6 feet 4 inches, and was the only president to be a licensed bartender while he was co-owner of Berry and Lincoln’s Saloon in Springfield, Illinois. To conclude on an eerie note, he was the first president to be photographed at his inauguration, and seen right near him is none other than John Wilkes Booth.
Bonus Fact: Lincoln’s son, Robert Todd, was saved from certain death after being caught by his coat collar and rescued from falling into the path of an oncoming train. His rescuer? None other than Edwin Booth, brother of the man who murdered his father.
17. Andrew Johnson (1865-1869)
Andrew Johnson, a.k.a the poor man’s Tommy Lee Jones, was sold, along with his brother, into indentured servitude to a tailor when he was 10 years old. He and his brother hated it, so they fled their servitude after a few years, and the tailor put out a $10 bounty on them. He did learn a lot in his time as a tailor’s apprentice, however, and he was known for making all of his own suits while he was president. Fun fact, he was also the only president to become a senator after being president.
18. Ulysses S. Grant (1869-1877)
One of the most underrated presidents, Ulysses Grant championed civil rights and essentially wiped out the Ku Klux Klan during his time in office. There was no greater hero for black Americans at this time than General Grant. Despite all his achievements in life, by 1884 Grant and his family were penniless, and the general was diagnosed with throat cancer. So, with the help of his good friend Mark Twain, Grant spent what would become the last year of his life writing his memoirs, all while suffering from immense pain from his cancer. They were published in 1885, and although Grant had passed away, he had set his family up for life, with his widow Julia receiving payments of about $450,000 over the next three years (that’s about $14,000,000 in today’s money).
Bonus Fact: In 1872, Grant was pulled over for speeding on his horse-drawn carriage down the streets of Washington, D.C. twice in 24 hours. The officer apologized to the President and promptly arrested him the second time. It’s okay, they apparently became buddies afterwards.
19. Rutherford Hayes (1877-1881)
Commonly derided as “Rutherfraud” here in the United States, President Hayes is much more well known in Paraguay, of all places. In fact, the South American nation likely would not exist as it is today were it not for him. In the mid-1800’s, the War of the Triple Alliance tore through South America, and Paraguay was devastated. As much as 70% of its population was either killed or died, with 90% of the nation’s men dead by the war’s end. The victors of the war, Argentina, Brazil and Uruguay, were set to completely dissolve Paraguay, but the battered nation turned to America for help, and President Hayes sided with the Paraguayans, sparing their nation. To this day, he is still honored in the landlocked nation. He features on postage stamps, is the namesake for a soccer team, statues are made of him, and a city named Villa Hayes remains to this day as the capital of the Presidente Hayes Department (equivalent of a state in the U.S.). It’s been said that residents of the city are kind of bummed when American visitors don’t know anything about Hayes.
20. James Garfield (1881)
One of the most intelligent men to hold the office, Garfield could simultaneously write Greek in one hand and Latin in the other. Unfortunately for this country, Garfield’s life was cut short when Charles Guiteau shot him with a British Bulldog revolver, chosen specifically because the assassin thought it would look good on display in a museum. To this day, no one knows where the gun is. The sad fate of Garfield is that the doctors’ uncleaned hands and tools searching for the bullet lodged in him is what ultimately killed the President (Guiteau even argued this in his case, saying that Garfield died of malpractice). But as is the way of Garfield’s everywhere, this one hated Mondays so much that he chose to die on a Sunday rather than live to see another dreaded Monday.
21. Chester Arthur (1881-1885)
While President Arthur is today seemingly only known for his intense muttonchops, he actually has a really interesting, Donnie Brasco-esque story with an incredible arc. You see, Athur’s early political career was steeped in New York City’s Custom House, which was right up there with Tammany Hall in terms of sheer corruption. The Custom House controlled all the imports into New York, and at the time, this was essentially all the imports into the country. They used this tariff money to grossly overpay all of the stooges who worked there. All the employees were political appointees, and like many others, Arthur was grossly unqualified for the positions he held and was eventually fired by President Hayes during the latter’s civil service reforms. He then worked his way up to becoming James Garfield’s VP and was able to take over after his boss was assassinated. Showing his incredible character development, he turned his eyes to the machine that made him in the first place and tore it down, systemically firing and taking away the power of all of his former slimy friends in a way only an insider could do.
22 & 24. Grover Cleveland (1885-1889; 1893-1897)
If there were two words to describe Grover Cleveland, they would be frugal and honest. While he was Erie County Sheriff in Buffalo, New York, he personally pulled the lever to hang two criminals to avoid paying the $10 fee for an executioner. The first one went without a hitch, but the second one caught a snag, as it were. The second man’s neck was broken when he dropped, but he didn’t die. It took an agonizing 23 minutes for him to finally kick the bucket.
As for honesty, that’s what made Grover (real first name Stephen) so popular. When political opponents accused him of fathering an illegitimate child, he said it was certainly possible. Despite this honesty, he pulled one of the biggest fast ones on the American public in this nation’s history. During the Panic of 1893, Cleveland discovered that he had a cancerous tumor on the roof of his mouth, but he only told 6 people about it, which didn’t include his Veep. On a “weekend trip,” the president and his surgeon went out on a boat and the surgery was performed, at sea, in 90 minutes. It was also done through the mouth to avoid any outside scarring or damaging his mustache. What a Chad.
23. Benjamin Harrison (1889-1893)
Despite being known nowadays as the President who was so afraid of being electrocuted by the newfangled light switches in the White House that he often went to sleep with them on to avoid touching them, there’s a far darker (pun intended) story regarding Harrison. His father, John Scott Harrison is the only man whose son and father were both presidents, but this afforded him no special privileges as his body was dug up by grave robbers less than 24 hours after he was buried. It just so happened that the nearby grave of Augustus Devin was robbed just before Harrison was buried, and the Medical College of Ohio was looking for corpses to study at the same time. Needless to say, a search warrant was put out. Among other macabre findings was a body on a meat hook that was originally believed to be Devin, but upon removal of the hood, it was discovered that the chop shop cadaver was, in fact, John Scott Harrison, and Benjamin had the horror of witnessing his father’s dead body hung up like beef in a freezer. This is indeed a distrubing universe.
25. William McKinley (1897-1901)
Is it any surprise that a president with Irish ancestry was obsessed with luck? Well unfortunately for McKinley, his family was not very lucky. Both of his daughters died as infants, and his wife’s already poor health declined after they passed. Ida McKinley would regularly have seizures, and at state dinners, the President would cover his wife’s face with a handkerchief until she regained her composure. Despite this, the President always wore a “lucky” red carnation on his lapel… until that is he gave it away to a little girl while at a meet-and-greet in Buffalo. A few handshakes down the line, McKinley was met with a replacement gift for his lost flower: two bullets fired by a Czech anarchist from a concealed pistol. McKinley then became the first president to ride in a self-propelled vehicle: the ambulance that drove him to the hospital. No Luck of the Irish there. But hey, at least his face is on the $500 bill, that’s gotta be worth something.
26. Theodore Roosevelt (1901-1909)
Okay, you don’t need me to tell you that Theodore Roosevelt (he hated being called “Teddy”) was probably the most badass president to ever grace this great nation. I could go on and on about his countless feats of machismo and bravery, and I have, but I wanted to share with you a side of T.R. less known: his personal side. One tragic day in Theodore’s life truly stands out: February 14, 1884. At 3:00 AM, his mother, Martha, died a painful death from typhoid fever at the age of 48. The 25-year-old Teddy was devastated, but things would get worse. That same day, his 22-year-old wife Alice would also die of kidney failure a mere 11 hours later in the same house. On Valentine’s Day, the four-year anniversary of his marriage and two days after his daughter was born, Roosevelt was left alone in his home. In his daily journal, he simply put a big “X” on the page and below it wrote, “The light has gone out of my life.” Spend some time with your loved ones, guys. You never know when you will never see them again.
Bonus Fact: A young Roosevelt and his brother can be seen looking out the second-story window of their grandfather’s home in this famous photograph of Abraham Lincoln’s funeral procession in New York City.
27. William Howard Taft (1909-1913)
While many know Taft was the only president to also serve as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, did you know that he was also the last mustachioed president? And as one mustache enjoyer to another, I have to say, sweet ‘stache, Mr. President. I also wanted to break the bad news that the story of him getting stuck in the White House bathtub is likely untrue, but hey, he was the first president to throw the ceremonial first pitch at a major league baseball game in 1910 when the Washington Senators played the Philadelphia Athletics (you may now know these teams as the Minnesota Twins and the soon-to-be Las Vegas A’s).
28. Woodrow Wilson (1913-1921)
Thomas Woodrow Wilson was one of only two presidents to have been a Confederate citizen (the other being then former President Tyler), and he grew up in Georgia during the Civil War. His upbringing greatly influenced his views, and he would go on to write his own book, A History of the American People, in 1902, in which he would spout countless Lost Cause myths and glorify the South. He wrote that Reconstruction placed Southern white men under, “the intolerable burden of governments sustained by the votes of ignorant negroes” among many other similar sentiments. He was also a huge fan of the Ku Klux Klan, as seen, among other reasons, with his screening of The Birth of a Nation in the White House. He also resegregated the federal government, and this action alone destroyed one of the few opportunities for success for black Americans at the time. Wilson was so extremely racist, even other people from his own time thought he was super racist.
29. Warren Harding (1921-1923)
Harding was a popular president in his lifetime, and he was especially popular with the ladies… well one lady, Nan Britton, who was notably not his wife. Their six-year affair began while he was a senator and lasted into his presidential term, where they made love in many places, including their favorite spot, a closet in the anteroom of the White House. His Secret Service agents would play wingman for him, knocking on the door whenever his wife Florence was approaching. One time, they had to stop her from breaking down the closet door to get to him. Fun fact, Britton was hated and attacked during her life for allegedly smearing the President’s legacy for claiming he fathered her daughter… only to be vindicated 90 years later when her daughter took a DNA test and discovered that Harding was, indeed, the father.
30. Calvin Coolidge (1923-1929)
Old Silent Cal was possibly the most libertarian president of the modern era, and he was famous for his less-than-talkative demeanor. A favorite story of mine is when, at a dinner party, a socialite woman said to Coolidge that she made a bet that she could get him to utter more than three words. He leaned in and said to her: “You lose.” While his reservedness is well known, did you know that he was also sympathetic to the plight of the college student? Yes, one morning, early into his presidency, Coolidge awoke in his hotel room to a burglar rummaging through his belongings. The President engaged in conversation with this chap and found out that he was a broke college student with no way to pay for his hotel bill or a way back to campus. Coolidge then took all the money out of his wallet ($32, or roughly $570 today) and gave it to the young man as a loan, and then proceeded to helped him exit the room without alerting the Secret Service. And yes, the loan was indeed paid back.
31. Herbert Hoover (1929-1933)
Hoover had a really rough start in life. When he was just two-years old, he came down with a violent coughing fit, turned purple, and keeled over. His family tried to resuscitate him, but to no avail. Assuming the worst, the family placed dimes over his eyes, as customary at the time, and began to grieve. Fortunately for young Herbert, one of his cousins rushed to get his uncle who was able to clear the boy’s throat and perform mouth-to-mouth, saving his life. Unfortunately, things did not get better for Hoover, who lost his mother and father 4 and 7 years later, respectively. Despite this, he went on to become a self-made millionaire and a man so admired, even his future political enemy Franklin Roosevelt wanted him to be president.
Bonus Fact: Hoover and his wife spoke fluent Mandarin. They would speak to each other in this eastern language to prevent advisors or secret service agents from understanding them.
32. Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1933-1945)
Arguably America’s most socialist president was once petitioned for money by another famous socialist: Fidel Castro. No, you can’t make this stuff up. In 1940, a 14-year-old Castro wrote a letter to President Roosevelt asking for “a ten dollar bill green american” because, as he puts it, “never I have not seen a ten dollars bill green american and I would like to have one of them.” Good hustle kid. Young Castro’s allowance was around 80 cents/month at the time, and this would’ve been like winning the lottery. I admire his chutzpah, opening the letter with “My good friend Roosvelt (sic)” and enticing the polio-ed president with an offer of, “If you want iron to make your sheaps ships I will show to you the bigest (sic) (minas) of iron of the land.” It would almost be cute if this boy didn’t grow up to become a mass-murdering dictator.
33. Harry S. Truman (1945-1953)
Harry “The S Doesn’t Stand for Anything” Truman was the only U.S. President to serve in combat during WWI, and he did so as an artillery commander. This two-year career as an explosive ordinance launcher certainly helped give him the ability to become the only human being to ever authorize the use of nuclear warheads on human targets…yet. The buck truly stops here, it would seem. But on a less dreary and radioactive note, his grandson Clifton Daniel portrayed him in the 2017 run of Give ‘Em Hell Harry, a play about our 33rd President. Reports of the portrayal are glowing, and it seems everyone had a blast at the event.
34. Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953-1961)
President Eisenhower was one of only eight men in U.S. history to be bestowed the rank of General of the Army, the highest possible rank in the armed forces. The General seemingly had clairvoyant powers as he famously warned of the coming “military-industrial complex” in his farewell address, but less well known was his insistence that countless hours of film and thousands of photographs be taken at the liberated Nazi death camps, as he feared people would deny the Holocaust and future generations would forget and succumb to propaganda.
Bonus Fact: The famous presidential retreat Camp David was named after Ike’s grandson, renamed from FDR’s original name “Shangri-La.” He said of the name, “Shangri-La was just a little fancy for a Kansas farm boy.” This same grandson would go on to marry Julie Nixon, the daughter of Eisenhower’s VP, Richard Nixon.
35. John F. Kennedy (1961-1963)
President Kennedy was a deeply interesting man, and there is no shortage of wacky, heroic, charming or humorous stories about the debonair Bay Stater. But, the closest story to my heart is about JFK’s love for the spy thriller genre, specifically, the James Bond series of books by Ian Fleming. An article in Life published in 1961 listed From Russia, with Love as one of the young president’s favorite books, and sales soared. Kennedy first got hooked on the series when he was recovering in hospital in 1954 and a friend gave him a copy of Casino Royale. Kennedy would go on to invite Fleming to his Georgetown home in 1960 to discuss foreign affairs, and the President would even go so far as to suggest to Bond movie producers Cubby Broccoli and Harry Salzman that they adapt From Russia With Love to the big screen next after the success of Dr. No. They obliged and the movie came out in October 1963 in the UK. Kennedy had the movie privately screened in the White House on November 20, 1963, half a year before it released in America, and it was the last movie he ever saw. Before his death, however, Kennedy tried his hand at writing his own spy thriller wherein his VP Lyndon Johnson stages a coup d’état against him. Ominous. This never happened to the other fellow.
36. Lyndon B. Johnson (1963-1969)
President Johnson had quite the fitting name, given his obsession with his, well, Johnson. The number of escapades regarding LBJ’s manhood, which he nicknamed “Jumbo” due to its apparently large size, is oddly high. If someone had the great misfortune of entering the Capitol bathroom while Johnson was at the urinal, he would whip around, dingaling in hand, and would say, “Have you ever seen anything as big as this?” while shaking it around and discussing legislation. He would also force White House aides to take dick-tation in the bathroom doorway while he was taking dumps on the toilet. He would also frequently scratch his balls in public, including on the Senate floor. He would also apparently relieve himself in the Capitol parking lot, and one time even urinated on a Secret Service agent, saying “That’s my prerogative.”
37. Richard Nixon (1969-1974)
One of only two Quaker presidents, Tricky Dick didn’t let his religion’s pesky opinions on gambling stop him from becoming a ridiculously skilled poker player while he served in the Pacific during WWII. It’s been reported that Nixon won $8,000 (around $140,000 in today’s money), and he used his winnings to bankroll his run for California’s 12th Congressional District in 1946, which he handily won. Funnily enough, Nixon never played the game again after his time in the Navy. Like any smart gambler, he knew when to quit.
38. Gerald Ford (1974-1977)
Born Leslie Lynch King Jr. (later renamed after his non-abusive stepfather), Gerald Ford was far more interesting than most give him credit, and this can be seen in another article of mine. However, there is even more to the man than that. Not only did he have an illustrious college football career, but he also modeled for Look Magazine and later Cosmopolitan in the early 1940’s right before he was shipped out to the Pacific front. What can I say, he was a handsome bloke.
Bonus Fact: I thought Gillette Stadium was a cool place for my senior prom, but Ford’s daughter Susan has me beat. Her dad hosted her prom at the White House! I wonder if they were breathalyzed?
39. Jimmy Carter (1977-1981)
Despite his successor being a former Hollywood actor, President Carter was the biggest movie buff to have ever sat in the Oval Office. In his short four-year stint in office, Carter screened over 400 movies, many of which he used his influence as President to see before they were released to general audiences. Two of these films in particular stood out, with the first being All the President’s Men, a movie about the Watergate scandal and the reporters who uncovered it. This was the first movie he watched in the White House, and it would be the funniest thing in the world if some of Nixon’s old bugs were still there to pick up the audio. The second related to Carter’s attempt to create peace in the Middle East when he watched the original Star Wars with Egyptian President Anwar Sadat.
40. Ronald Reagan (1981-1989)
The former actor-turned president was possibly one of America’s most prolific letter-writing presidents. During his time in office, Reagan wrote thousands of letters, many of them to everyday American men, women and children. One super wholesome letter involved a seventh grader named Andy Smith who wrote to the President in 1984, saying, “Today my mother declared my bedroom a disaster area. I would like to request federal funds to hire a crew to clean up my room.” The Gipper found this funny and sent back a letter starting with this, “Dear Andy, your application for disaster relief has been duly noted but I must point out one technical problem; the authority declaring the disaster is supposed to make the request. In this case your mother." Another interesting letter is the one Reagan wrote to Michael Jackson that same year after the latter’s hair infamously caught fire whilst filming a Pepsi commercial. Reagan was all too familiar with suffering injuries on set, be it from a gunshot on set permanently damaging his hearing or a chimp nearly strangling him to death on the set of Bedtime for Bonzo. He said to the singer,
Dear Michael:
I was pleased to learn that you were not seriously hurt in your recent accident. I know from experience that these things can happen on the set—no matter how much cautioned is exercised……You've gained quite a number of fans along the road since "I Want You Back" and Nancy and I are among them.
Keep up the good work Michael. We're very happy for you.
Sincerely,
Ronald Reagan
41. George H. W. Bush (1989-1993)
Despite riding the coattails of a wildly popular president in Ronald Reagan, George Bush was still trailing his opponent, Michael Dukakis, in the 1988 presidential campaign. Desperate to breathe some new life into his campaign, the elder Bush seriously considered having one-term mayor of Carmel, California and famous actor Clint Eastwood be his running mate. Unfortunately for the world, Bush decided not to make our day and selected noted quote connoisseur and Indiana Senator Dan Quayle to be his running mate instead. I guess riding with Eastwood didn’t make him feel lucky.
Bonus Fact: While on a state visit to Japan in 1992, Bush seemingly ate some bad sushi and proceeded to vomit on the lap of Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa and pass out. This infamous incident inspired the creation of a Japanese slang word for vomiting, ブッシュする (Busshu-suru), directly translating to “Bushing it.”
42. Bill Clinton (1993-2001)
Bubba Bill Clinton, our first black president, is a weird dude, but voters can admire the man’s honesty and strange trivia abilities. In a 2011 interview with NPR, Clinton aced a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic trivia segment, putting his Rhodes scholarship to good use, and won a prize for a lucky listener in California. Our first black and first brony president, incredible. He also said, publicly, that he usually wears briefs instead of boxers during an MTV special. He also offhandedly mentioned at a campaign stop in Louisiana in 1994 that he lined the truck bed of his El Camino pickup truck with Astroturf, winking to the audience and saying, “You don’t want to know why, but I did.” Makes one wonder what woman he supposedly didn’t have sexual relations with in that pickup.
43. George W. Bush (2001-2009)
While in high school at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, George Bush was the captain of the cheerleading team. He even dressed in a miniskirt and wig while on the cheer team in a skit to mock rival schools; now that’s dedication to the sport. He was also a cheerleader at Yale. Here’s another interesting tidbit: Bush is actually a fairly competent Spanish speaker. Dubya has given interviews entirely in the language and even made campaign ads where he spoke Spanish. Look out Portnoy, there’s another El Presidente in the barrio.
Bonus Fact: In 1998, Governor Bush met the mother of famed meme gorilla Harambe at the Gladys Porter Zoo in Brownsville, Texas. #BushDidHarambe
44. Barrack Obama (2009-2017)
Despite what some people may believe, Obama was born in Hawaii, but he spent four years of his youth with his mother and stepfather in Jakarta, Indonesia. There he engaged in many adventures seemingly out of a 1930’s pulp comic where the American protagonist learns the strange customs of a faraway foreign land and befriends interesting locals. He learned the local language, ate exotic foods including dog, snake and grasshopper, attended Catholic and Muslim schools, and even befriended and adopted a pet ape named Tata.
Bonus Fact: Unlike his Veep, Obama does not care so much for ice cream, thanks to his first job at a Baskin Robbins. That’s what being a wagie does to a man.
45. Donald Trump (2017-2021)
The Donald, who attended my alma mater Fordham University, is famously a germaphobe, refusing to touch “ground floor” buttons on elevators and calling handshaking “one of the curses of American society” and “barbaric.” But did you know that he is also a lifelong teetotaler? This is thanks to his brother, Fred. Donald really looked up to his brother, but sadly, he died at age 43 due to complications with alcoholism. Trump was heartbroken after the fact, and said of his brother, “This is why I don't drink, ever. I just don't do it. Fred told me not to, and I saw what happened to him when he didn't follow his own advice.”
Bonus Fact: Trump is the only president in the WWE Hall of Fame, thanks largely to his 2007 bout against WWE owner Vince McMahon in WrestleMania 23’s “Battle of the Billionaires.” Trump won the competition, with the stakes being the loser gets their head shaved by the winner. But if you don’t like Trump, don’t worry. Stone Cold Steve Austin hit Trump with a Stone Cold Stunner after the fact!
46. Joe Biden (2021-Present)
Looking at our octogenarian president now and his, how do I say this politely, lack of physical prowess, it’s hard to believe that he was once a high school football star. During his senior year at Archmere Academy in Delaware, Biden was a wide receiver and the leading scorer on the team’s undefeated 1960 season. Biden’s coach once said that despite being a lanky and skinny dude, he was “one of the best pass receivers I had in 16 years as a coach.” The jury is still out whether the chocolate chocolate-chip ice cream or the nefarious Corn Pop is responsible for ending Joey’s budding NFL career.